I have lived most of my life in varying degrees of isolation. As a child, or in my family, in my jobs. I am an outgoing person but there have only been short bursts of life where I 'played the part'. It has been several years now since I really had regular contact with friends. At this stage, I think I have 2 adults, non-related who I can consider a friend and I only see them very rarely.
I miss people. Everyone moved, died, or we drifted apart and the hole was not replaced. Not only do I miss people, but I am jealous. Jealousy is a feeling I am not prone too and I don't like. I am jealous when my husband goes to spend time with friends. I am jealous when I hear about other people gathering together with their friends. I am jealous when family members gather together. The more jealous I feel the more alone I feel and the more jealous I become. I am afraid I am growing into a bitter old lady.
How does a person make friends? I've never understood that. It seems like some weird subterfuge. Make friends. Make. Every friendship I've had has spontaneously developed r/t proximity or mutual interests. And I don't know how one 'makes' that happen.
Maybe this is just what happens when you are an adult with children. It's isolating. And I know very few people who I share interests with.
How do you 'make' friends?
I think most of my friends have come from either people I work with or people I met through my kids - their bff's parents or day care providers I clicked with. I also joined a book club once that netted a number of friends (it was a Conversations with God study group). If you have a house you can stand to invite people over to (I do NOT lol), you can do that. (Mostly, I just meet people elsewhere... a tavern, a restaurant, their house, etc.) And of course I have far more online-friends than RL-friends, whom I may never meet, sadly. What about the wives of some of your husband's friends? Have his friends over and make it a couples/singles thing somehow. We would be great friends if we lived close. <3
ReplyDeleteWe would be great real life friends! :) I don't think any of his friends are married. Which is sort of sad. Maybe I'll work up the nerve to see if someone from work wants to hang out or something sometime.
DeleteFriendship is HIGHLY over-rated, and all alliances and therefore friendships are temporary. This is not necessarily a bad thing as your closest friends are the ONLY people who can really hurt you. I've known some of the people you introduced as your friends. They weren't, not really.
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